Features

Barefoot worms have it rough 

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Things aren’t looking good for a barefoot bookworm. 

Robert Neinast has sued the Columbus Metropolitan Library, saying that the ban on going barefoot there blocks a healthy lifestyle and his First Amendment rights. 

During a hearing Friday in U.S. District Court, Judge Algenon Marbley told Neinast, a software writer from nearby Pickerington, that he wasn’t inclined to let the case go to trial. 

The library’s attorney, Philomena Dane, told the judge that the library has the policy to protect patrons’ safety and avoid injury lawsuits. 

Dane said Saturday that Neinast failed to make the case that going barefoot is a form of expression. 

“One doesn’t know what the message is,” she said. 

Neinast wore a dark suit and black shoes in court. 

“As I said in my affidavit, I wear shoes on formal occasions, and it doesn’t get much more formal than this,” he said after the hearing. 

The legal eagle has landed 

NEWARK, N.J. — A legal eagle is coming back to the federal courthouse in Newark. 

The 2-ton, hand-carved limestone eagle, which sat at the base of the flagpole at the old courthouse for decades, will be unveiled March 5 during ceremonies at the federal courthouse. 

The eagle vanished in the late 1930s, around the time when the old courthouse was demolished. However, few were aware of its disappearance until members of the U.S. District Court Historical Society in New Jersey commissioned a comprehensive study of the state’s federal courts. 

During their work, researchers unearthed a 1938 newspaper article about the statue. Investigators soon tracked it to a Montclair home once owned by B. Palmer Davidson, a former writer for The Star-Eagle, a predecessor of The Star-Ledger of Newark. The statue was cemented onto the side of a brick structure attached to a garage wall in his back yard, where it remained for many years. 

The eagle was removed from the home in November and has been refurbished. 

How many students does it take to change a light bulb? 

CHICAGO — The University of Chicago finally has its own answer to a vexing question: How many students does it take to change a light bulb? 

Mary Ruth Yoe, the editor of the school’s alumni magazine, decided students there had gone long enough without a good University of Chicago answer so she asked for contributions. Scores of responses followed. 

“Change it to what?” answered Michael P. Richard. “We were taught to define terms.” 

Another entry argued that the answer depended on whether the students are undergrads or graduate students. 

The answer for undergrads? “Four. One to change it and three to complain about how hard it was.” 

For graduate students, though, the answer was, “Just one. But it takes seven years.”