Features
Smoke ‘Em Out, Nuke ‘Em Out, Go Bears!
Earlier this month the Cal Band announced a competition for the lyrics to a new fight song, the first for the band since 1978. The winning lyrics will accompany the new tune “California Triumph” written by UC Berkeley graduate student Hirokazu Hiraiwa.
The song was played, without lyrics, for the first time Sept. 11. The deadline for entries was Sept. 16. The band plans to be ready to play the final version of the song, with the winning words, by January.
Carol Denney sent the Daily Planet the following suggestions for the new fight song. Too late, unfortunately, for them to win the competition.
Football Sonnet
Why should we vex ourselves
with games of skill
When simple logic verities unveil
It is not those who win who gain goodwill
Black seas of deep resentment winners sail
To trade the axe seems but pathetic sport
More tragic for the backdrop budget squeeze
Which strikes students in pocketbook and heart
And brings the best departments to their knees
Alas! Brave footballs sail and bounce about
In sympathetic havoc—wanting out!
Smoke ‘Em Out!
Smoke ‘em out! Smoke ‘em out!
Roll ‘em up and toke ‘em out!
Pass around another joint
Till the team says what’s the point
Who cares what the score is
Sing another chorus
So what was the chorus?
I don’t know! Here we go!...(repeat)
Nuke ‘Em
don’t just duke ‘em out
nuke ‘em out! nuke ‘em out!
victory will come when we drop the bomb!
nuclear weapons stop them in seconds
who needs brawn when we’ve got the bomb!
we may suck at football
but we’ll be at the roll call
after the ultimate nuclear touchdown
all the little suckers
will envy us in bunkers
after our ultimate nuclear touchdown
Hurrah for Los Alamos! Hurrah for Livermore!
we can press the button and shut you down forevermore!
don’t be stupid
nuke it! nuke it!
nuclear waste, yeah
we can make ‘em puke it!
