AMERICAN CONSERVATORY THEATER
CLOSING -- "The Tosca Project," by Carey Perloff and Val Caniparoli, through June 27. Loosely structured around the themes of Puccini's "Tosca,'' this imaginative new work is gorgeously choreographed, achingly moving and scored with some of the best music ever made, from Hendrix to Stravinsky.
Geary Theater, 415 Geary St., San Francisco. (415) 749-2228, www.actsf. org.<
BEACH BLANKET BABYLON This long-running musical follows Snow White as she sings and dances her way around the world in search of her prince. Along the way she encounters many of the personalities in today's headlines, including Nancy Pelosi, Condoleezza Rice, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harry Potter, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Britney Spears, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, George and Laura Bush, Michael Jackson, Martha Stewart, Tom Cruise, Angelina, characters from Brokeback Mountain and Paris Hilton. Persons under 21 are not admitted to evening performances, but are welcome to Sunday matinees.
"Steve Silver's Beach Blanket Babylon," Wednesday and Thursday, 8 p.m.; Friday and Saturday, 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.
$25-$78. Club Fugazi, 678 Beach Blanket Babylon Blvd. (formerly Green Street), San Francisco. (415) 421-4222, www.beachblanketbabylon.com.<
CHANCELLOR HOTEL UNION SQUARE
"Eccentrics of San Francisco's Barbary Coast," Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. Audiences gather for a 90-minute show abounding with local anecdotes and lore presented by captivating and consummate conjurers and tale-tellers. $30.
433 Powell St., San Francisco. (877) 784-6835, www.chancellorhotel.com.<
"The Clown Cabaret at the Climate," First Monday of the month, 7 and 9 p.m. Hailed as San Francisco's hottest ticket in clowning, this show blends rising stars with seasoned professionals on the Climate Theater's intimate stage. $10-$15.
285 Ninth St., Second Floor, San Francisco. www.climatetheater.com.<
THE CUSTOM MADE THEATRE CO.
"Durang Me," by Christopher Durang, through July 10, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m.; No show Jul. 4. Featuring two of Durang's scripts, "Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You'' and "The Actor's Nightmare.'' $18-$28.
965 Mission St., San Francisco. <
"Posibilidad," July 3 through July 5, 2 p.m. San Francisco Mime Troupe presentsthis modern song and tango about politics in the workplace featuring a live band. Free. (415) 285-1717, www.sfmt.org.
18th and Dolores streets, San Francisco. <
"Obscura -- A Magic Show," through Aug. 14, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m. Featuring illusionist Christian Cagigal. $15-$25.
156 Eddy St., San Francisco. (415) 673-3847, www.theexit.org.<
"Fauxgirls," Every third Saturday Drag cabaret revue features San Francisco's finest female impersonators.
1351 Polk St., San Francisco. (415) 885-4535, www.denkitiger. com/.<
MAMA CALIZO'S VOICE FACTORY
"The Golden Girls: The Pride Episodes," through June 25, Monday-Wednesday, 7 and 9 p.m. The "girls'' are back with two new episodes in time from Pride Month, starring Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin and Pollo Del Mar. $20-$25.
"Blackbird: Honoring a Century of Pansy Divas," by Seth Eisen, through July 10, 8 p.m. Show blends puppetry and a hybrid of live performance, movement, music, video, song and storytelling. $20-$25.
1519 Mission St., San Francisco. (415) 368-1244, www.voicefactorysf.org.<
"The Mock Cafe," Stand-up comedy performances. Saturday, 10 p.m. $7.
"The Monday Night Marsh," An ongoing series of works-in-progress. Monday, 8 p.m. $7.
OPENING -- "Reading My Dad's Porn and French Kissing the Dog," by Cherry Zonkowski, through July 17. Zonkowski takes you on a tour of the suburban living rooms, crowded dungeons and ultra-hip warehouses of San Francisco's sex and artist party scenes.
1062 Valencia St., San Francisco. (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org.<
NEW CONSERVATORY THEATRE CENTER
CLOSING -- "Proud and Bothered," through June 26, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. Gomez, a professional Gay Pride MC takes the walk of shame in this comedic tell-all. $22-$34.
25 Van Ness Ave., San Francisco. (415) 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org.<
CLOSING -- "ShortLived 3.0," through June 26, Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. The largest audience-judged playwrighting competetion in the nation returns with experienced playwrights, unknown up-and-comers and local, independent theater companies. $20. www.pianofight.com.
"SummHER Lovin," through June 28, Monday, 8 p.m. PianoFight's "Monday Night ForePlays'' series returns with the fifth all-new installment of their female-drive variety show. $20.
965 Mission St., San Francisco. <
CLOSING -- "Wicked," Tuesday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, 2 p.m.; Oct. 11 and Dec. 27, 7:30 p.m.; Nov. 27, 2 p.m.; Dec. 21 and 28, 8 p.m. "Wicked'' is the untold story of the witches of Oz. Long before Dorothy drops in, two other girls meet in the land of Oz. One, born with emerald-green skin, is smart, fiery and misunderstood. The other is beautiful, ambitious and very popular. "Wicked'' tells the story of their remarkable odyssey, how these two unlikely friends grow to become the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch. $30-$99.
1192 Market St., San Francisco. (415) 512-7770, www.shnsf.com.<
PIER 39 -- A pier filled with shops, restaurants, theaters and entertainment of all sorts from sea lions to street performers.
"SAN FRANCISCO CAROUSEL" -- The Pier's two-tiered, San Francisco-themed carousel with hand-crafted ponies that rock and move up and down and tubs that spin. In addition, carousel has hand-painted pictures of San Francisco scenes like the Golden Gate Bridge, Chinatown and Coit Tower. $3 per ride. "FREQUENT FLYERS'' -- A bungee trampoline where people can safely jump and flip over 20 feet in the air thanks to the help of bungee cords and a harness. Jumpers must weigh at least 30 pounds and not more than 230 pounds. $10 per session. (415) 981-6300.
"RIPTIDE ARCADE" -- A 6,000-square-foot, surfer-themed arcade offering the Bay area's only 10-gun, Old West-style shooting gallery and 100 cuttingedge video games, virtual reality units and popular novelty games. Included are the "Dance Dance Revolution'' game, driving and roller coaster simulators, the "Global VR Vortex'' virtual reality machine, "Star Wars Trilogy,'' "Jurassic Park,'' "Rush 2049,'' and classics such as "Pac Man'' and "Galaga.'' Games are operated by 25-cent tokens and range in price from 25 cents to $1.50. Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to 11 p.m.; through Feb. 26: Sunday through Thursday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. (415) 981-6300.
"TURBO RIDE" -- Three simulated rides where the hydraulic seats move in synchronization with events on a giant screen are available at the Turbo Ride complex. The 12-minute-long rides in 3-D and 4-D are: "Dino Island II''; "Haunted Mine Ride,'' and "Extreme Log Ride.'' $12 general for one ride; $8 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for one ride; $15 general for two rides; $11 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for two rides; $18 general for multi-rides; $14 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for multi-rides. (415) 392-8872.
STUDIO 39 MAGIC CARPET RIDES -- A comedy action adventure utilizing special effects to created a personalized movie with visitors as the "stars'' flying above San Francisco. The Magic Carpet Ride is free. No reservations required. Ride is approximately five minutes. Personalized videos will be available for $30 for one: $10 for each additional tape. (415) 397-3939. SEA LIONS -- California sea lions, nicknamed "Sea Lebrities,'' "hauled out'' on Pier 39's K-Dock shortly after the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake and by January of 1990 had taken over the docks. Due to a plentiful supply of herring and a protected environment, the population has grown and now reaches as many as 900 during the winter months. Weather permitting, free educational talks are provided by Marine Mammal Center volunteers on Saturday and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. Free. (415) 705-5500.
"Tony n' Tina's Wedding," The original interactive comedy hit where audience members play the roles of "invited guests'' at a fun-filled wedding ceremony. The popular dinner comedy performs at Swiss Louis Italian Restaurant. Thursday-Saturday, 7 p.m.; Matinees: Thursday and Saturday, noon. $88.50-$115.50. (888) 775-6777, www.pier39shows.com.
"Insignificant Others," by L. Jay Kuo, A musical comedy about the romantic foibles of two gay men and three straight women who move to San Francisco from the Midwest seeking love and adventure. Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. $39-$46. www.isomusical.com.
Free. 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; certain attractions and shops have differing hours. The Embarcadero and Beach Street, San Francisco. (415) 623-5300, (800) SEADIVE, www.pier39.com.<
Rockshop, June 29, 7:30 p.m. This collaboration between playwrights and bands features plays by Daniel heath, Ignacio Zuleta, Adam Chanzit, Katie Rubin and more, with music by Invisible Cities, Foma, Seventeen Evergreen and more. $10.
155 Fell St., San Francisco. (415) 861-2011, www.rickshawstop.com.<
SAN FRANCISCO COMEDY COLLEGE CLUBHOUSE (800) 838-3006, www.clubhousecomedy.com.
"Hump Day Comedy," Host Rich Stimbra and a variety of stand-up comics will get you over the Wednesday work hump. BYOB for 21 and over. Wednesday, 8 p.m. $5.
"Naked Comedy," A comedy showcase featuring some of the best comedians in San Francisco. BYOB for 21 and over. Saturdays, 9 p.m. $10.
414 Mason St., Suite 705, San Francisco. (415) 921-2051, www.sfcomedycollege.com.<
"Shopping! The Musical," by Morris Bobrow, A quick-paced musical about those obsessed with buying things. Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m. $27-$29. www.shoppingthemusical.com.
Big City Improv, Friday, 10 p.m. $20. (510) 595-5597, www.bigcityimprov.com.
"Beijing, California," by Paul Heller, July 1 through July 17, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 5 p.m. An unflinching study of one nation's invasion by another - but this time, the victim is not Iraq or Afghanistan; rather, it is America, and the invader is China $15-$25.
1695 18th St., San Francisco. www.thickhouse.org.<