Arts & Events

New: FILM REVIEW:The Lorax Goes Hollywood

By Gar Smith
Monday March 05, 2012 - 10:56:00 AM

My name is the Lorax and I speak for the trees.

So how'd I get sucked up in Hollywood sleeze?

My message was lost in the Stremulous Stream!

Even Swomee-swans told me to "Get with the Team!"

The Grinch (who stole Christmas) got all the attention 

Why TV? Why Movies? Why all this Big Mention? 

Because he's defeated, so Whos can start shopping

But me? I'm ignored because I'd stop chopping


So, how come the hokum? Why tell kids to drive 

Their parents to buy a Mazda CX-5? 

'Cause I am the Lorax! I push SUVs! 

(And also IHOP's Mac n' Cheese & Trufula Trees!) 


I once scorned the Once-ler and all his pollution. 

But now I've been shown there's another solution: 

Grabulous Greed from a thneed is a hoot! 

And now I am rolling in Bar-ba-loot loot. 


The Humming-fish now know that Rodeo Drive 

Is my new habitat and it's here that I'll thrive. 

My new movie's loud and it's filmed in 3-D 

(Dumb, Dumb and Dumber, between you and me.) 


Instead of just talking, let's shout, scream and hoot. 

Let's make so much noise we could deafen a Snoot, 

Snatch pratfalls and stunts from the Done-before Basket 

And pluck our clichés from the Done-to-Death Casket. 


I'm a celebrity now meant to prowl upper classes. 

My moustache is waxed and I've put on dark glasses. 

I party at Hard Rock and dress incognito 

(I can scrunch down and hide behind Danny DeVito.) 


So pour me some vodka with Trufula juice 

And please never mention that guy, Dr. Seuss…. 

Excuse me! That's Spielberg on line number one. 

Love ya, babe! Call me! So long! Gotta run!