Extra

Stacked coffins and storage containers may seem like a startling solution to homelessness, but Panoramic Interests press liaison and communications consultant David Friedlander says it’s the logical step for a city which simply wants to stay on the market rate real estate gravy train.

Critics were outraged that the San Francisco Chronicle gave editorial space to what was essentially a commercial for developer Patrick Kennedy’s Panoramic Interests’ most cynical ploy to date, forcing the poor into stacked shipping containers and coffins utilizing San Francisco’s anti-tent and anti-sitting legislation.

“This isn’t green; tents are green,” fumed one local camper. “What idiot camps in a stupid coffin?”

“Dead people do,” pointed out Friedlander, noting that “you never hear complaints from them about it, either.”

“Stacked shipping containers may not be everyone’s first choice for a home,” acknowledged Friedlander, “but neither is the Millenium Tower anymore.”