Features
On Poetry and Fathers By JUSTICE PUTNAM
The one thing
That always amazed me
Even from the
Earliest moment
Of your life
Was the utter trust
You had in me
And I was struck
At the time
By the amount
Of doubt
I had in myself.
Even though
Your mother and I
Had half a year
To practice breathing
I doubted that
I could remember
Properly when to
Encourage the right breath
And when the doctor
Said I could assist
And I finally held
You
Gray and small
I thought to that
Distant day
When you would
Hold your own son
In the same way
And I thought of
The resolve you would
Have
Just as I had
To love
Like no other
Father has loved.
So the years pass
And I doubt
You felt the
Prayer of love
Over that distance
And separation
You grew in.
A correspondence
Is a poor substitute
For a kiss
Yet each word
Was a universe
Of touch
I doubt it
Was enough.
I cannot now
Apologize
For all that you
Went through
I wish it were
Otherwise.
But mere words
And sentiment
Are hollow.
You are now
A father
Kiss your son
While you can
Circumstance
Has a way
Of intruding
Upon the best
Of plans
And apologies
Become terrible
Temptations.
—Justice Putnamü