Columns

SMITHEREENS: Reflections on Bits & Pieces

Gar Smith
Saturday September 26, 2020 - 12:12:00 PM

There is one sure and immutable sign that the seasons have shifted from summer to fall: It's Pumpkin Month at Trader Joe's.

At the downtown Berkeley Joe's, the celebration gets underway even before you set foot in the store. Instead of a series of "socially distanced" shoe-prints painted on the parking lot floor, the path leading to the rear entrance is now adorned with seasonal slogans like "Fall in Line" and "Up and Autumn." But the best message comes in the form of a riddle: "What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?" (Answer: "Pumpkin Pi.)

So what's on the menu for this year? Here's a quick survey. Pumpkin Empenadas! Pumpkin Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookie Mix! Pumpkin Waffles! Pumpkin Bagels! Mini Spicy Pumpkin Samosas! Pumpkin Spice Pretzels! Pumpkin Ginger Ice Cream Cones!

And, to wash it all down: "Pumpkin Pie Spiced Ginger Brew!

Elizabeth Warren Is Ready for a Fite

A couple of interesting political flubs surfaced in the mail this week. One was a fund-raising pitch from Warren Democrats that arrived in an envelope bearing the message: "We need you in this fite."

I eagerly read the contents, looking for an explanation for the use of the word "fite."

There was none. So I have to assume someone on Warren's team (maybe Warren herself?) is a big fan of FITE.TV—the "digital network for . . . combat sports such as: professional wrestling, mixed martial arts and boxing." Like they say: Politics is a contact sport. 

An Incredible CREDO-bill Gaffe 

And then there was my monthly bill from CREDO, the progressive phone folks. CREDO's bills always come with an invitation to "round up" to the next dollar to support a fund that benefits nonprofits. (In September, CREDO members voted to split $150,000 between Color of Change, the ACLU, the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund.) CREDO's bills also contain action items: Just check a box and CREDO will send a protest letter on your behalf. 

This month, one letter asked the US Postal Service Board of Governors to fire Postmaster General Louis DeJoy. A second letter called for Senate action to enact a new economic stimulus program for people who have lost their jobs due to the Covid-19 pandemic. The invitation read: "Send a letter urging Sen. Lee to pass the Heroes Act now." 

I'm sure that Rep. Barbara Lee could shoulder a senator's work but, at the moment, Senators Feinstein and Harris are carrying on just fine. 

Trump über Alles? 

Trump dirty-trickster Roger Stone sounded like a front-man-for-fascism when he went on Alex Jones' InfoWars show to toss out the idea that Trump should declare "martial law" if he were to lose the November election to Joe Biden. 

Meanwhile, during a Fox News interview, Jeanine Pirro asked Trump what he would do if his electoral victory triggered street protests. 

Trump replied, semi-intelligibly: "We'll put them down very quickly. It's called 'insurrection.' We just send in and we do it very easy." 

Trump has also claimed that he was responsible for sending in the US Marshalls who killed an Antifa member accused of fatally shooting a Trump supporter during a street clash in Portland. In a televised news interview, Michael Reinoehl insisted he shot Trump supporter Aaron Danielson in "self-defense." Reinboehl will never be able to argue that case in court, however, because Trump's Marshalls gunned him down in a hail of bullets. 

As Trump told Pirro: "That's the way is has to be. There has to be retribution when you have crime like this." 

Well, so long "rule of law," "due process," "jury trial," "innocent until proven guilty"—and the Bill of Rights. 

Isn't This an Impeachable Act? 

The Atlantic and The New Yorker have published blockbuster exposés on Trump's looming threat to seize power if he loses the November vote. When a reporter recently asked Trump if he would commit to a peaceful transfer of power, Trump replied: "Well, we’re going to have to see what happens . . . . I’ve been complaining very strongly about the ballots and the ballots are a disaster. Get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very—we’ll have a very peaceful—there won’t be a transfer frankly, there’ll be a continuation." 

Doesn't plotting to seize illegitimate power and turn the US into an autocracy rise to The Ultimate Impeachable Act

Isn't This a Criminal Act? 

After breaking into Breanna Taylor's apartment in the middle of the night and firing 35-45 bullets into her bedroom—and several adjoining dwellings—none of the three police officers involved were held responsible for the death of this beautiful, talented, aspiring young woman. 

The official investigation ruled that the police acted in accordance with the law. 

So if the police were not responsible for the murder of this innocent woman, the real criminals are city officials who granted the police the power to act in violation of the US Bill of Rights—specifically the 3rd and 4th Amendments protecting the privacy of one's home and possessions and the protection against "unreasonable searches." In a true, freedom-loving country, there would be no such thing as a middle-of-the-night "no-knock warrant." 

Isn't This Unconstitutional? 

The abomination of "cash-bail" is an affront to the Sixth Amendment guarantee of a "speedy trial" and 14th Amendment promise that "No State shall . . . deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law." How can the US claim to honor the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" when it imposes jail terms on people who have not had their day in court but are condemned to lengthy imprisonment (euphemistically called "pre-trial detention") only because they are too poor to afford bail? 

Meanwhile, as LeBron James has noted, former "Full House" star Lori Loughlin "will get to serve her two-month sentence at prison of her choice." 

"You May Already Be a Winner" 

Publisher's Clearinghouse (PCH) just imformed me that I'm in the final round for winning "$1,000 a day for life." (And, for those whose math skills are wobbly, they add: "That's $7,000 a week!") 

PCH's other critical number (the one that only appears in small print) confides that the chance of winning this prize is one in 6.2 billion. Not very good odds, considering the current population of Planet Earth tops 7.8 billion. 

Still, it's not every day that I get a letter topped with the empowering legalistic title: "In the matter of mandatory compliance for imminent winner selection." 

So I explored the contents of the over-stuffed envelope and discovered that PCH doesn't just make money by selling magazines (TIME, Sports Illustrated, Southern Living, Eating Well, Cowboys & Indians). The envelope also included more than 60 coupons for a weird collection of kitsch including: Magnifying LED Eyewear, Cinnamon-Scented Battery-Operated Candles, Realistic-Looking Rock Key Hiders, Plush Crinkle Doggie Toys, Flexi-Wrapping Paper Cutters, Christmas Tree Silicone Cupcake Holders, Smiley Face Refrigerator Magnets, and a cookbook with more than 300 recipes for "Church Suppers." 

A New GOP Sweetheart: Attila the Honey 

A few weeks ago, a Pro-Trumper named Marjorie Taylor Greene gained a load of free publicity for her Georgia Congressional campaign by posing for campaign ads while brandishing a loaded assault rifle. A TV ad shows Greene drawing a bead on a sign bearing the word "Socialism" and grinning as she blasts it to bits. 

Well, it turns out that Greene has some competition in the Red Sweeps—fellow Georgian and pro-Trumper Kelly Loeffler, who is already serving as junior Senator from the Peace State. In what may rank as the oddest campaign ad of the year, Loeffler doesn't simply ally herself with Trumpism, she proclaims herself to be "more conservative than Attila the Hun." 

 

Trudeau Thumps Trump 

No, not Canada's Trudeau: This time it's Doonesbury's Garry. 

In his September 6 Sunday strip, (just prior to Carl Bernstein's revelation that Trump "downplayed" the Covid-19 pandemic because he "didn't want to cause a panic") Garry Trudeau's strip included a chart comparing the growth of Covid-19 cases in Europe (around 7,000) and the US (more than 65,000). 

Trudeau's cartoon alter-ego, Mike Doonesbury, was pictured announcing: "As a visual reminder of who owns this appalling record of carnage, we'll be making a color adjustment that will hereafter mark [Trump] for as long as he appears in this strip." 

The last panel shows a flustered Trump scowling into a mirror and asking "What'd he do? Am I oranger?" 

It takes a moment to notice the difference. 

It's not the cartoon Trump's orange-tinted face but his tiny hands. They now are covered with blood

The last time an American president received such a graphic slap was after the Supreme Court handed the presidency to George W. Bush. Bush thereafter appeared in Trudeau's strip as a floating asterisk—to note that he was not the Elected President but was merely the Selected Resident. (In recognition of GWB's disastrous Iraq War, the asterisk was later crowned by a Roman military helmet that became increasingly battered, dented, and torn over the course of Dubbyuh's reign.) 

All A-Twitter over Trump 

Garry Trudeau's Doonesbury features a cast of characters that includes a showboating, Trump-promoting journalist named Roland B. Hedley, Jr., who has become addicted to Twitter-casting his opinions. Sunday's September 13 panels showed RBH barreling down the Pacific Coast Highway in a top-down, red convertible, ignoring the scenery and the road ahead as he thumb-posts a stream of tweets, defending and trumpeting Trump. 

"POTUS now uses word 'incredible' an average 27 times daily," one tweet reads, noting that "incredible" means "impossible to believe so POTUS is responsibly signaling public not to try." 

Another observes: "If you still believe POTUS is a 'white supremacist,' then how do you explain his lifelong commitment to darkening his own skin?" 

Addressing Trump's habit of disowning staffers who run afoul of the law or expose Trump's foibles, another Tweet reads: "BREAKING: Can finally confirm that POTUS 'barely knew' John Bolton. Official list of people he knows well is now down to three of his five children." 

But the best eye-grabber of the bunch is the following defense of Trump's misogyny: "Am baffled by Trump's 'women problem.' Every day he gets up, dons corset, heels, hair, full makeup. No one knows more about what women go through." 

A Corset? Really? 

Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie has revealed that Trump once advised him to wear longer ties in order to "look thinner" but Trump reportedly also wears an industrial-gauge tummy-tucker under his over-sized jackets. 

Political Flare reporter Nicole James is one of many Trump-watchers who have noticed The Donald's penchant for large, floppy jackets two-sizes-too-large for him and his oddly tense, forward-tipping posture. She has written that the "reason for the bad posture is that Trump usually wears a girdle" to minimize the appearance of his paunch. The International Business Times has reported that "rumors about Trump possibly wearing a girdle have existed for years. However, he has never confirmed or denied them." According to James, "Trump’s girdle explains why he sits on every chair like it is a toilet." 

 

Kevin Zeese, Presente! 

 

On September 6, Kevin Zeese—a lawyer, activist, organizer, broadcaster, journalist and father—died suddenly in the middle of the night. The loss of this hard-charging, activist giant was totally unexpected. Earlier in the year he was one of the daring team that occupied the Venezuelan Embassy in Washington, DC (with the permission of the Venezuelan government) to prevent it from being illegally seized by Juan Guaido, the self-proclaimed (and Trump-backed) "legitimate" (but unelected) leader of the country. 

Several months ago, Zeese visited the Berkeley Fellowship of Unitarian Universalists to update a local crowd on the occupation, partisan attacks, harassment, arrests and costly legal defense that stemmed from the embassy occupation. All four of the accused "trespassers" were ultimately vindicated when government was forced to drop all charges. 

On September 19, a Zoom-wake—hosted by Kevin's long-time colleague-and-companion Margaret Flowers and family—drew an online crowd that topped 750. (Margaret and Kevin were so close, personally and politically, that they became known by the nickname "MarVin.") 

War-toughened journalist Chris Hedges began the tributes—fighting back tears as he finished his final words. Ralph Nader followed, recalling Zeese's remarkable tenacity and humor. Nader then shared "an old Irish saying." One that sadly notes: "Sooner or later, life will break your heart." 

To be a protector and defender of life, it helps to be bigger than life. That was Kevin Zeese. 

Margaret and Kevin's sons have already established a Kevin Zeese Emerging Activists Fund and are "eager to sponsor our first activist and keep Kevin's legacy growing." Donations can be sent to: Kevin Zeese Emerging Activists Fund, 402 E Lake Avenue. Baltimore, MD 21212-2542. The video of the memorial is available on YouTube here in English.
She Is Ruth