The Editor's Back Fence

So have you ever been in a grocery store with a 2 ½ year old who spots a lollypop next to the checkstand? And he’s missed his nap? So he starts crying. He screws his little face up. It turns red. And then he falls to the floor and starts kicking and yelling bloody murder: “I WANT A LOLLYPOP!” You wish you were anywhere but there.

Or, perhaps, if you’re a grandmother and you’re kind, and he’s not your little boy, perhaps you can say reassuringly to his poor mother: “He must be 2 ½. That’s how they all act at that age. He’ll grow out of it, don’t worry.”

That’s what it was like to watch Donny Trump on Tuesday night—except that he’s not 2 ½. And it’s way too late to expect him to grow out of it. The bemused smile that played across Joe Biden’s kindly face for much of the time seemed to me to express the same embarrassment his fellow Americans felt when they remembered that it was their president having that childish 90-minute temper tantrum. Like all parents do occasionally, Joe lost his cool, just for a moment, and told the screaming kid to shut up. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Now it’s long past time for the adults , politely but firmly, to pick Donny up and remove him from the public space.

Our family was texting back and forth as we watched the “debate” in horror. My two sons-in-law, the most patient of fathers when their own were toddlers, agreed that Biden should just slap Trump down. The boy’s just too big to act like that. The third male partner couldn’t even watch for more than 30 seconds.

But I must say that I realized with pride that our immediate kin on the text stream adds up to eleven votes including the grown granddaughters. And not a Republican among them.

Now, it seems, the big baby has gotten his just desserts. I know, I know, de mortuis nil nisi bonum, but he’s not dead yet. We might join Nancy and Joe in praying for his survival, at least until election day, so the grown-ups can teach him a lesson at the polls. Maybe after he’s been sent to his room for two weeks he’ll know how to act. But I’m not counting on it.