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When people with a mind-altering condition get older, we are no longer able to pull off any of the crazy stunts that young mentally ill people do and still get away with it. This is not to imply that mentally ill people intentionally do these things, not at all. When someone first becomes mentally ill, it is not something we have chosen to do to ourselves. When young, we may lack the temperance and the common sense that would lead us to have a modicum of normal behavior; this could look like staying in treatment so that we don't do disastrous things, or it could look like having mechanisms we've learned, that kick in when symptomatic, that prevent these disastrous actions. 

I knew a man who died at 50. He had failed to learn to adequately manage his condition, and he reaped the results of that. That's just a guess, since I'm not privy to the details of his death. However, when I knew this man, he was in his mid to late forties and was still doing the stupid stuff that you just can't do when you get older. Society and social mechanisms have only so much tolerance. 

When we get older, our responsibilities increase, and our ability to fulfil responsibilities decreases. Employment, when we are older, is harder to find and to maintain. We may no longer be able to meet the expectations of entry level jobs that twenty-year-old women and men typically get. At the same time, we may not have a college degree and it may not be plausible to get one. For those reasons, when we are older, many of us can't work. We may be financially illiterate. That by itself can prevent creating a survivable future. We may be impaired by decades of taking mandated medication. There are a lot of things that people without mental illness can do that mentally ill people can't do. This is a problem. 

The attitudes I'm currently dealing with imply that I'm not expected to last. I'm dealing with people in the mental health care systems who appear to have me written off as defunct. Yet, this is conjecture. I don't know these things for fact. However, the amount of real help I've received consists of medication, plus being bogged down in bull. No one is making a sincere effort to help me become employed. Instead of that, I get a pretense of help, the reality of it is that my time is being squandered. This is because I'm older, and the prevailing picture of me that people are seeing is of someone suited for institutionalization. 

There are some counselors who offer genuine help. These are the ones whom I value deeply and to whom I'm eternally grateful. When the I.Q. of the counselor is a bit higher, they are more likely to understand me. The ones who are fools seem to presume a lot. Their assumptions aren't accurate. It is a mix, a roll of the dice. 

When mentally ill people age and haven't thrown in the towel, it could be an unusual phenomenon. Why should I give up? I'm still here and I can still think. I'm up against a lot. Yet I can always try to overcome that, and maybe get some help with doing that. 

I am probably considered "geriatric mentally ill," as the category I'm put into. If I'm evaluated according to that, the expectations that follow are going to lead toward people helping me in my journey up the river toward death or steering me toward permanent institutionalization. No allowance is built into the system to consider that maybe some individuals aren't yet ready to go there or need to go there. It is inappropriate to lump me into this artificial category. I have a lot to contribute to society. When I direct counselors to look at my writing on the web, they discount what they are seeing because it doesn't fit their picture of who and what they believe I am. This is bad for me because it prevents being lined up with any genuine opportunities of what I can do and do well. 

I've seen many of my mentally ill peers disappear over the years. One day they are living nearby, and the next day police are taking them away, never to be seen again. Is this what we await as our reward for abiding by the rules of what we are expected to do? If so, something is terribly wrong. Other peers develop medical problems because of the decades of taking antipsychotics and/or mood stabilizers. They become physically ill. They might have irreversible tremors. They might have organ damage. Their brains might no longer work. 

Society must offer us a bit more than that. 

Jack Bragen lives in Martinez, with his wife, Joanna Bragen, and has books for sale on Amazon and elsewhere.