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Sometimes when people, systems, or organizations create problems, a little bit of pushback can go a long way toward resolving them. If a person wants to harass, intimidate, or otherwise create obstructions or problems for you, it can be important to show that you are not a pushover. Even when dealing with assaultive men, some counter-intimidation, or at least standing up to the person, can help with putting a stop to that. 

The biggest deterrent to those who are physically assaultive is not the idea that you will fight back, it is the likelihood that he or she will be jailed for getting assaultive with you. If your situation does not lead to the wrongdoer being caught, you just have to do your best. Even so, many bully types are less likely to push you around if you exude confidence. Additionally, even if they come after you, you still have the satisfaction of having stood up to the bastard. 

In numerous kinds of attack other than physical, some type of deterrent will help you. Yet, for now, I want to cover something very different. When you push on a predicament, when you do this consistently and with clarity, you can get results. When you push on your own reactivity and fine tune yourself to refrain from panic mode, and when you continually approach your difficult situations from a focused mind space--thirdly, if you have determination like a wind in your sails, emerging from deep within you, you will be able to solve most of your problems. 

You should not let people get away with abusive behavior or derogatory speech. I have a shorter phrase for that which I can't use here. If you try, often you can push people to make sense and to follow accepted rules that govern a situation. This starts with better quality and clarity of thought. And you can learn to have responses of a lower amplitude. 

In the vein of pushing on people, a government agency sent me a demand that was fully unreasonable. I confronted them, and I achieved a change in plans that was barely acceptable. Same government agency was quite hard-nosed in dealing with me, and I pushed them to be just a little bit communicative. Another government agency didn't want to do their jobs--and it was something I truly depended on. I went to their office, talked to them, and forced them to make some sense. In government dealings, to my advantage, I grew up with parents who worked for government agencies. 

Sometimes you face a lost cause, in which more dealings with an individual or other entity, is an exercise in futility. It is important to recognize this when it happens. 

In some instances, we need to dig deeper within ourselves to find the strength to deal with something. This can take the form of "just doing it," or it can involve cognitive preparation. 

No one can force anyone else to do something they are unwilling to do. However, when situations allow only one or two routes that lead to a good outcome, the situation is forcing something on us--or we must accept unsavory consequences. 

In reference to being mentally ill: If mentally ill, you must deal with a great deal of governmental red tape, including county, state and federal agencies. You could also be dealing with treatment venues that have their hierarchies. Learning how to deal the human beings in those contexts is a great skill and will serve you well. 

The Dalai Lama of Tibet: "Know the rules well, so that you can break them effectively." 

Jack Bragen is author of "Jack Bragen's 2021 Fiction Collection," and "Instructions for Dealing with Schizophrenia: A Self-Help Manual."