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In human life, at some point we will face some difficult realities. It matters how we process them. The realities could be frightening, could be dismal, or could be merely a big disappointment. In the mind of a pre-psychotic person, it is easier to make up something that is not real, that provides relief from the pain and/or fear of this. This is the beginning of becoming mentally ill. This issue is up for me, because while I can't specify what I'm going through, I'm in for realities that include uncertainty and a tremendous amount of work, at least in the short term. So, I realized I could make some of this theme into a column for this week. 

When I was a young person, in my teens and early twenties, I couldn't handle living in "reality." My mind wouldn't do that. My brain had developed a neural route, like a short circuit, that facilitated denial of many difficult things. It is likely that a genetic predisposition made this more likely to happen. Other people facing the same thing would have extreme levels of painful emotions and would deal with this appropriately or not. Some might resort to illicit drugs, while others could develop behavior problems without the psychosis. 

When the human mind and brain become accustomed to using the short circuit I described above, to alleviate pain in the short term, things could become more severe when more difficult realities present themselves. At some point, the mind "splits off" from reality. By then, the short circuit no longer provides pain relief, instead it is a cause of enormous havoc within the mind. And the above describes one way that a person can develop a psychotic disorder. 

Once guided by erroneous thinking, our behavior becomes disorganized and may in some cases become destructive. We lose the ability to go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. We are engulfed by a continuously shifting non-reality. We might think there will be a parade for us with confetti, balloons, and television coverage. Or we might think someone is trying to kill us. We could become unable to understand normal human speech. We could end up doing illegal things, usually "nuisance crimes" because we've lost all vision of normal, accepted behavior. 

We are in most instances fortunate if we become hospitalized on an involuntary hold. (Part of whether this is "fortunate" or not, depends on where we are put--is it a good place or a bad place?) 

At that point, medication can be administered. The medication shuts down a number of things in the mind, and it slows the mind. Additionally, it should have the effect of stemming back the delusions. This doesn't happen right away, and there will be a period of time in which was are calmed down from the tranquilizing effect but still running the thoughts produced by the disorder. If the medication works well enough, the neural route that was produced, which is the main cause of the disorder, is mostly shut down. This allows "normal" thinking to take over again. 

When we are reinstated to regular thinking, we could feel very disappointed that the delusions were not real. This is because the delusions may have promised great things. Also, if this is a repeat episode of psychosis, we could be thinking, "Oh damn, not again!" 

For me, when I became really calmed down in the safe environment of Kaiser Inpatient Psych Ward, in Martinez, I "came back" to reality upon really calming down. I was calm to the point of being contemplative. And as a result, the delusional systems were gone. 

The human body and its capacity to feel physical pain, and also the "criminal justice system" are two things steeped in very hard realities. If involved in either, it can get a person connected to hard realities very fast. Does this cure psychosis? I doubt it. But it does send some unmistakable messages of some realities that can't be denied. This doesn't make a person well. It compounds the problem. 

For a troubled person to come to reality, we must feel some level of safety and comfort, and if we don't get this, we can't come back. Sadly, this will not happen during incarceration. And if we are stuck there, waiting on being "fit to stand trial" it is unthinkably terrible.