Public Comment

If you have schizophrenia or schizoaffective, it affects everything in your life. Everything. From sitting on the toilet, to applying for a job or a car loan, to trying to obtain a higher education and a decent job. It affects your prospects of marrying someone you like, it affects how people perceive you, it affects how you are treated by cops and the "criminal justice system," it affects your health, your weight, your attractiveness or lack of it, your grooming, your teeth, and whether or not you feel comfortable--and can engage in conversation at any gathering, formal or casual. And it affects your lifespan. In short, if you have a severe mental illness, it has the likelihood to ruin your life.

The above paragraph might explain the high suicidality of mentally ill people. I caution you against such action. It would affect everyone in your life who cares about you, including family, friends, and anyone else with whom you have interaction. Another angle on this: you're going to die soon enough anyway, even if from old age, so why shouldn't you wait it out in the hope that a few good things can eventually come your way?

I'd had suicidal thoughts when I was young, and I couldn't follow up on them because of how it would affect the person who brought me into this world. Later in life, I have additional reasons to stay with it. I have hope of something better, and, even if it takes massive effort and persistence to bring this to fruition, and why not? 

Because of mental illness, and the extreme interruption that it produced, I didn't try much college--just a few classes at Diablo Valley College. I am more inclined to do a job because I find it much harder to be motivated to do classes. I've learned to teach myself through numerous avenues. When I want to learn something, there are the resources brought about by a computer; and I can call, text, or email people and ask questions. Curiosity and wanting to know more, propel me toward learning. Striking up a conversation with someone sometimes fulfills that. 

And my mind seems to be good at retaining certain types of facts like flypaper and flies. (I got rid of the fly problem years ago. I found that a fly swatter that I bought at Dollar Tree works much better than fly paper. It also helps get rid of flies if I clean up the apartment more often.) 

If a doctor has told you that you need to take medication, you should be compliant. Noncompliance is likely to ruin the condition of your brain, and the functioning you consequently lose might not come back. Noncompliance carries so many risks--the risk to life and limb of you and others, the risk of losing your legal rights, the risk of incarceration, the risk of long-term hospitalization, and more risks, and other complications--and problems. If you believe your diagnosis is wrong, you need to get a second opinion. You can't just deny it and do whatever you want. People don't get to just do whatever we want. Society has expectations. Society is big and you're small. Who will win? 

If you have not done so already, it is time to have a serious attitude about a mental illness. If you are mentally ill, the disease won't go away via religion, via meditation, through wishing it away, or by thinking it away. Treating a psychiatric disorder is the only way to salvage your life, to get some good things for yourself, and not to let your potential go to waste.