Four Bridge Players Too Far

By Garrett Murphy
Friday December 21, 2007

The game is supposedly called bridge,  

But the American bridge is in danger of being  

blown up  

by the hissy-fit tantrum of some petulant federation  

under the delusion that it represents anything farther than its pacifier.  

And why, one may ask.  

Simply because the American bridge champions  

had the gall and the nerve  

to act like real Americans  

by expressing their own free opinion  

like an American should.  

But apparently somebody forgot to warn them  

that the USBF underwent a name change.  

It’s now the GWBF.  

And you see,  

under that new (and covert) moniker,  

whenever you become a part of this federation,  

you apparently forfeit all rights  

that were once American givens,  

even to say  

that you did not vote for their “man”  

or bow saying metaphorical salamis and baloney  

to the cowboy boot-clad feet of the idol  

of the GWBF  

on pain of hell and damnation  

and fire and brimstone,  

that just might blow up this bridge after all.